21 NOVEMBER - 6:00 AM

Dood, every winter this happens to me. They come crawling out of the woodwork. Some of them I don't mind, but some of them -- o my lord, my kingdom for a cave, a chainsaw, and a bottomless pit.

I saw fucking JEFF in the gas station tonight, as I was giving in to my unholy nicotine addiction. He's put on some weight and looked like he hadn't taken a bath in two months.

"Hey, Schmez," he says to me.

"Uh, hey. Imagine meeting you here."

"Yep. I'm sick. Don't always look like this."

"Oh, well, ha ha, don't give it to me!"

"You still dating that guy?"

"Tim? Yeah. What about you?"

"Shit, girl, I don't date guys, of all people you should know that!"

Sigh. "I meant, are you seeing anyone."

Cough. Honks up some spit. "Well, I see lots of people."

Wan smile on my part.

"Shit, girl, the one people I ain't been seein is you. Where you been hidin yourself?"

"Oh, the usual. Work and school."

"That's coo'. You know I graduated."

"Oh did you? That's great."

"Yeah, just lookin for a job now." Scratches his belly.

"Okay, well, it was really good seeing you again, I gotta get to work."

"Hey, all right, I'll tell Chris 'n them you said hey and stuff."

Swallow. "Okay. Bye."

I forgot to kill him for the whole "Rob's really married" debacle.

He's not really a redneck. In fact, he's a very smart guy who plays a mean guitar. He's just a part of my sordid past, you dig?

Welcome to winter. Schmez, this is Sordid Past. Sordid Past, meet Schmez. Tis the season to wreak havoc. Fa la la la la and shit.

All I need now is a nice healthy dose of a certain Indian boy who shall remain nameless, and my squeamishness will be complete. Muah ha ha ha.

I haven't been to my old video store in almost a year. I suppose I should ring up and see how everyone's getting along without me. I don't think I've talked to Jen and AJ in...god, has it been two years? Surely to fuck not.

Of course, that was all my fault. Jen's not like me; I can't blame her for being just the teensiest bit wary of me in regards to the whole AJ scene. Even if it was before they got together. Oh well. That's the one I really regret. Jen was a good friend. One of the only female friends that I had.

I would, however, like Anil to show his smarmy face so I can kick him in his elephantine balls. That would make this truly a Merry Christmas.

Pretty disjointed entry, eh?

Ah, who cares.

Josh is supposed to come over tomorrow. We said 10 AM; I hope I can get ahold of him to tell him better make it AFTER his class. My booty is TIRED, bitch. She wants some sleep.

Tim and I went out with Josh sans SuperVirgin's Female Counterpart (Josh's wife Heather) on Friday night. We saw the Grinch (shhhh! Don't tell Heather!), which I thought was just okay, nothing spectacular. Then we went to Logans, where we sat in Dear Kelly's section.

I love Kelly. I think she is the absolute MOST attractive girl I have ever really known. She's my kinda gal. Sweet, smart, honest, a whole lot of fun. Plus gorgeous. Sigh.

Anyway, for some ungodly reason, Josh thought it would be a good idea for me to have THREE roadhouse teas. On an empty stomach. Good call, Josh.

Then we went to Josh's Swank Downtown Apartment, where I was served a seriously insane buttery nipple. Then the two boys coerced me into going to the only strip club in town I hadn't been to yet.

A few dozen amaretto sours, a few cases of trusty ol' Mich Lights, a coupla bottles of southern comfort, and a pack-and-a-half of Camel Ultra Lights (in a fucking BOX, woman, how hard is that to understand?) later, and I think we went home.

Normal weekend. The reason why I mention it at all is because Tim actually had a really good time. I think Josh has really grown on him. He's liked Heather for a while. Tim would prefer I hang out with Josh and Heather over any of my other friends because my other friends are "trash" and Josh and Heather are "grown-ups."

Sigh.

I need to call SuperVirgin. Kick my ass, but I miss the little gay motherfucker.

FUCK.

I need to scan those pictures.

YES, I suck.