12 October 2008 - 1:41 AM

I am now going to lie down on a bed, turn out the light, and close my eyes. $400 says within five minutes, my darling boy will be wanting the boob.

I know this begs the question, WHICH darling boy? Ha. Ha. Ha. I laugh at your joke. Look under there.

See what I did? I made you say underWEAR. Now we're even in the Unfunny Olympics.

I heart him something awful. He's grabbing at things now, actually holding onto his little key chain he got as a present from his aunt (when you press a button on it, it yells "WE'RE HAVING FUN" which so help me was the same phrase that doll said every time she opened up a can of x-file-y whoop-ass on that episode that Stephen King wrote - okay, actually it was "LET'S HAVE FUN" but CLOSE ENOUGH FOR GOV'MINT WORK and anyway it creeps the bejesus out of me).

Every unkind, cheating, lying, just plain nasty-ass thing I ever did fell off of me when he was born. It was like going to Confession, times 18. I feel sort of clean, like I got born when he got born. You know?

You know I have not had one sip of alcohol in an entire year? Right now I don't intend to drink again. I think I had a problem with it, I really do. I won't go so far as to say I'm an alkie, but I think I was close enough for gov'mint work. I was thinking about it, and I realized I drank way more than I even admitted to myself. And I'd say ninety percent of all the shitty things I've ever done, things I'm actually ashamed of and regret intensely, I did while drunk. I think admitting that's a pretty big step....HEYyyyyyy, I get it! Step!

Now I'm ahead in the Unfunny Olympics.

He's so SOFT and warm and cuddly. And so BEAUTIFUL. And before you know it, he'll be snotty and sticky and tantrum-y.

But probably JUST as beautiful. :)